strifeandslash:

safe sex is for losers (takes off knee pads and helmet) 

trust:

money can buy me happiness its called mcdonalds

pizza:

if i have my headphones in there is a 106% chance i’m not listening to you

trillow:

i got 99 problems and i can’t remember any of them so i guess that makes a hundred

theneverendingdrums:

wimpala:

theneverendingdrums:

theneverendingdrums:

theneverendingdrums:

i want pizza but im broke what if i just walked into a shop and stole a 12 inch pizza and ran away do u think id get away with it

update: i got away with it

omg no dont reblog this post what if the police find me

hello yes police there’s someone on the internet who stole a pizza and got away with it

r u trying 2 get me put in jail u asshole

dilclo:

ding dong ur opinion is wrong

vaspim:

You wanna know what gets me off? What really turns me on? Writing an essay without changing the default size 11 Calibri font with no line spacing, and then changing it to size 12 Times New Roman with double spacing and seeing it grow from 3 to 5 pages. Yeah, that really gets me going.

ostracizedpoodle:

am i the only one who doesn’t have a tumblr

sloth-grunge:

do you think if i die now i’ll have enough time to be reincarnated as kim kardashians baby